Hello.


It's been a while since I've update my blog.

Well doesn't really in the mood to blog...
Went for my second appointment on Thursday? I forgot..
Clarence was with me the entire time, thank you so much and sorry for wasting your time.
Well, I didn't cry, in fact, I told the doctor everything, she told me some stuff and yeah....
I feels a lot better and she gave me some sleeping pills for one month supply.
I'm very happy to be able to sleep normally after sucha long time being insomnia.

Clarence said that he likes me, he was holding my hand for the entire time and he's hugging me.
It's so sweet of him, I kinda like him too, for being so kind to me.
But,

I'm just not ready to be in a relationship, my heart is not ready.
I know there's a lot good guy out there, I know, I know all the time.
But I just, feels like I don't want to be in a relationship.
After all, I just get rejected by someone that I had a crush on.
Being happy is what I tell myself to do.
Sometimes it hurts to force myself to smile and be happy when I don't feels like.
What to do? My doctor tells me that my Anxiety is very HIGH and my depression is very serious.
My temper is a problem, I know.

I get pissed off and angry easily. I often scold people, for a small problem or sometimes its not even their fault.
I'm trying to change, I'm trying to be happy. I think I need to overlook things and not put them in my heart.
I'm here to thank my friend Senson for fetching me to catch a movie that he don't like. LoL
He was forced to watch by me. Haha. It was a horror movie and it's scary.
I was beating him in the cinema and he's probably pissed at me lol.
He said he wanted to bring me out on sunday which is tomorrow but I think he probably forgot... lol.
Well, he's a busyman :)

I wanted to go out alone and read books in Starbucks/cafes and just relax my mind, but somehow I find myself very scared to step out alone out of my house.
It's killing me, the feeling that I keep having,
afraid of being rob, afraid of being kidnap, afraid of being killed/rape.
I don't even dare to walk alone. I'm scared.


Fake friends started to care.
Friends pretended to care.
in the end, no one cares.

Because, in life, no one can help you except yourself.
I sounds so emo, but in reality, I'm feeling so much better ^_^
I can laugh and smile more often with my friends/family.
I probably still put myself in bad mood but not that often anymore.
I keep myself busy, but my temper is getting worse.


How to freaking cure my temper?